Why Kalama: The Torch, the Path, and the Light Within
Kalama means torch. It also happens to be my home beach here in Kailua, where I do most of my work.
It’s a word that came to me and landed in my body as a resounding yes ~ an ancient and living Hawaiian word that embodied precisely how I see my role, and so much of the process of this work in altered states. It has come to represent not just the name of my retreats, but the essence of how I view this work. The torch is a symbol of guidance, of remembrance, of the quiet flame we each carry inside.
When I began walking with sacred medicines, I often felt I was fumbling in the dark, searching for something I couldn’t name, without elders, friends or community with open minds and hearts to walk alongside me. In many of my first solo journeys with mushrooms, I was seeking answers, direction, a sign for what next step to take, what path to head down. In time, I realized I wasn’t looking for a path laid out by something beyond myself. I was looking for connection to my own light.
And that’s what Kalama means to me.
This is not a place where I claim to lead. I am not the flame itself. I am simply here to hold the lantern for a little while, so you can tend to the light that’s already within you.
In Hawaiian, kalama can also mean “the light” or “lamp.” In some cultures, the torch represents the soul’s journey—a passage through darkness, a guide through mystery.
Psychedelic work is much the same. It can be disorienting. Dazzling. Awe-inspiring. At times—even confronting. But when held in ceremony, with care and intention, the medicine becomes a light that reveals—not fixes, not forces, but reveals.
The flame doesn’t show the whole path. Just the next step. And that’s all we ever really need.
Kalama is about remembering:
That your healing isn’t somewhere out there… it’s in here
That you’re not broken, just becoming
That light and shadow walk together
That you already carry the wisdom you seek
So when you see the torch, let it remind you: You are not lost. You are not late. You are simply walking yourself home, and we’re here to help hold the lantern as you find your way.
One breath, one step, one ember at a time.
